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Rape jokes: Not funny.
Jul. 24th, 2009 01:57 pmBrilliant blog post by Harriet Jacobs found via link on Facebook: http://fugitivus.wordpress.com/2009/06/24/a-woman-walks-into-a-rape-uh-bar/
It's a long blog post, but it says so many things about one part of the rape culture that we're swimming in. Why am I linking to it? Because not only was I impressed and amazed by the writer's candor and honesty, but a lot of what she had to say resonated for me. My own experiences don't include what I would define as rape, but they do include experiences that push the boundaries of what is and isn't rape. I do get uncomfortable when friends make rape jokes, or even references to rape that are supposed to be funny.
One recurring joke comes up during gaming when someone refers to extreme damage done to an enemy. And I flinch, every time. Because it reminds me very strongly of one of those "not rape, but pushed the boundaries nonconsensually" experiences that I have had. And I know the people who use the joke/phrase i'm referring to aren't trying to make me flinch. But even if the link above is TL;DR, I'd like my friends to think. I strongly believe that thinking is a useful and worthy pursuit. For this reason, I've included an exerpt below.
So, here is my challenge for those who want to tell rape jokes:
Ask every woman in your life if she has been sexually assaulted. Ask her to tell you her story. This means your mother, your sister, your girlfriend, your grandma.
Once you have heard all their stories, go watch a movie with a rape scene in it. One you didn’t mind before. One you thought people were overly offended by.
Now tell me a joke.
It's a long blog post, but it says so many things about one part of the rape culture that we're swimming in. Why am I linking to it? Because not only was I impressed and amazed by the writer's candor and honesty, but a lot of what she had to say resonated for me. My own experiences don't include what I would define as rape, but they do include experiences that push the boundaries of what is and isn't rape. I do get uncomfortable when friends make rape jokes, or even references to rape that are supposed to be funny.
One recurring joke comes up during gaming when someone refers to extreme damage done to an enemy. And I flinch, every time. Because it reminds me very strongly of one of those "not rape, but pushed the boundaries nonconsensually" experiences that I have had. And I know the people who use the joke/phrase i'm referring to aren't trying to make me flinch. But even if the link above is TL;DR, I'd like my friends to think. I strongly believe that thinking is a useful and worthy pursuit. For this reason, I've included an exerpt below.
So, here is my challenge for those who want to tell rape jokes:
Ask every woman in your life if she has been sexually assaulted. Ask her to tell you her story. This means your mother, your sister, your girlfriend, your grandma.
Once you have heard all their stories, go watch a movie with a rape scene in it. One you didn’t mind before. One you thought people were overly offended by.
Now tell me a joke.
